PITCH: SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW – MY SON KILLED HIMSELF AFTER HE WAS STABBED FOR BEING GAY.THE TORMENT OF SUFFERING MENTAL HEALTH
A heartbroken mum says her son killed himself after suffering a personality change from being stabbed twice in a brutal homophobic attack.

Tommy Thwaites went from being an outgoing, popular entertainer to a recluse after he was set upon by five thugs in a nightclub because of his sexuality.
He suffered terrifying flashbacks and night terrors as he recovered from being glassed in the face and stabbed in the stomach and back.
But after telling his mum Claire Fry ‘I can’t cope anymore’ he spiraled into depression and refused to leave the house in case he was attacked again. He self harmed to the point of nearly taking his arm of the scares were just getting worse. Watching my son get know help just was the worse at that time. Finally, he did the worse and exit this world hanged himself in despair.
‘My son killed himself because he just could not cope anymore he was on 6 lots of medication, no one really listened just played cat and mouse game says Claire, 46.‘Before he was happy with his life and sexuality. He came out to me at 16 and was proud of himself but he completely changed after that attack and was never the same again.
‘The attack stripped my son of who he was. He completely changed and wanted to die.
‘He said he wished he was the same person as he was before someone else so he could fit into society. I told him people are just cruel and he said he wasn’t strong enough to take it anymore.
‘I feel such anger for those who attacked him. He survived the attack but my Tommy as I knew him died that day. Just before he killed himself he told me he wasn’t proud to be gay. Tommy was tired of being tired.
‘Some days I can’t even get out of bed now. I cry and cry and can’t believe he is gone. My heart continuously hurts.
Mum-of-four Claire, who became a qualified criminologist 2018.rushed to Tommy’s flat in Maidstone Kent after she was told of his death – but was too scared to go inside.
‘My body wouldn’t let me go up the stairs,’ she says. ‘I just screamed and screamed. I had to go to the hospital and identify him though.
‘When they pulled the curtain I banged on the glass. He looked so beautiful. I was saying “wake up Tommy, please wake up”.
‘I couldn’t believe my son was really dead. Not my Tommy. He had always been the life and soul of the party.
‘Tommy was such a colorful character and the whole family was drawn to him. If it was your birthday he would be the first to give you a hug. He was just so caring and tried so hard to make everyone around him happy.
‘As a kid, he was hugely into colors and drawings. Rainbows were his favorite because of all the different bright colors.
‘I’d be woken up by almighty screams from him as she was having night terrors.’
The mum-of-four kept hoping he would recover after being diagnosed with PTSD, but Tommy hanged himself on November 16, last year.
‘I still can’t believe it,’ she says. ‘Tommy was the happiest little child and was the entertainer of the family. He loved to get involved and organize things like Halloween and Christmas parties.
‘Even when I went out to clean he would come with me and was my little sidekick. He loved to read, especially anything to do with geography or animals. He loved David Attenborough.
‘He came home from school at 16 and told me that he was gay.
‘When he came out it wasn’t a surprise to anybody else but it was to me. I’m a bit naive. Tommy was really upset and said he only cared what I thought.
‘I told him I really didn’t care about his sexuality and that I loved him so much.’
Tommy’s dream was to work on a cruise ship and he studied travel and tourism in college.
He was not eligible to work on the ships until he was 21 but his dreams were left in tatters months earlier when he was attacked on June 13, 2015.
He had attended Dusk2Dawn nightclub in Maidstone where a group of five strangers pounced on Tommy in a corridor because they presumed he was gay.
Arrests were made but nobody was charged due to a lack of evidence.
‘They called him a gay batty boy,’ Claire says. ‘My sister Kirsty had gone out with him and rang me from the ambulance saying Tommy had been stabbed. I was horrified.
‘I got to the hospital and a part of his nose had been severed. The nurse told me he was lucky to be alive because the stab wounds just missed his arteries.’
Tommy never recovered psychologically from the assault and took an overdose weeks later before eventually being referred to Albion Place in Maidstone for mental health support.
Claire says her son suffered PTSD post-traumatic stress disorder, EUPD emotional unstable personality disorder which is a huge personality change and became angry at the world server Anxiety and depression
‘He was open about how he felt,’ Claire says. ‘He told me he wasn’t the same fun-loving Tommy anymore who enjoyed being out and about.
‘He could not understand why being gay would lead to something so awful.’
But in June of last year, Claire saw a glimmer of hope.
She says: ‘From when Tommy was a child we always had a dream of going to Italy. We both love pasta and pizza.
‘He surprised me last year with a fully paid holiday for a week in Italy and said “you don’t have to pay for anything Mum you have done so much for me”.’
‘It was very emotional and we went to Sorrento. Absoulty beautiful we laughed liked we use to .We even skipped down the road .arm in arm .we were in our element. We were having pasta or pizza every night and just spending quality time together.
‘I thought it was a turning point because he was calmer and everyone we met loved him. He was even offered a job behind a bar.
‘We spoke a lot on that holiday and he said everyone accepted him in Italy and he loved it. He said he didn’t want to return home because his head hurts him here.’
And after going home Tommy’s mood soon spiral and he was speaking openly about suicide.
He told his mum he didn’t belong in the world and was desperate for help.
Claire says: ‘I am a positive person and I twist things to make it positive even though I took in what he was saying.
‘I told him things were getting on top of him and it would get better but he said he was tired and he kept saying it.’
Tommys was under the mental health professionals in Maidstone Kent. Who clearly let Tommy down. As a mother who was consistent, I tried so much. I organized a meeting on behalf of Tommy to get him supported housing and a key worker as per usual this never happened.
I have now set up Tommy’s Rainbow Charity trust to help other mental health sufferers. The charity is to make people aware of the prevention of suicide and suicide awareness.
We need to raise 5000 pounds for the commission’s registration number which I will need for the charity. To be able to get all the help we need .to help others. OUR WALKING CENTER.
To help families who are watching their loved ones deteriorate and the charity is to support them all individually. This charity, in fact, will take a lot of pressure off the NHS
Mark Allen and I set up THE HAPPY TO CHAT BENCH .the idea had come from Spain Mark thought what a great idea to bring this to Tommy’s rainbow charity trust. Claire Fry Uncle who lives in Devon Exeter has also managed to get a HAPPY TO CHAT BENCH in tedburn St Mary and B and Q have kindly offered a huge discount for the wood paint
The first one has been confirmed to be placed in Maidstone by the Kentish lady. The idea of the HAPPY TO CHAT BENCH is for people to talk if they ever feel alone, isolated, depressed, or even suicidal, or having suicidal thoughts. It’s good to talk about anything. that’s worrying the person.
Tommy’s coffin was of a rainbow and mourners were asked to wear bright colors on the day in tribute to his big personality.
‘People think the rainbow is just about gay pride but Tommy has always loved them since he was a little boy,’ Claire says. ‘He was obsessed with the song over the rainbow from The Wizard of Oz and he used to sing along in front of the TV with a big smile on his face. He had such gorgeous chubby cheeks as a child.’
She says greater support is needed for people suffering from depression.
‘This is my way of grieving,’ she says. ‘I would be so happy to know I have saved someone else’s life and to help a parent or grandparent. I don’t want anyone else to have to go through what I’ve been through.
‘His death all points back to that one attack. I still can’t believe how one person can change in an instant.
‘I miss him so much. Our love was beyond unconditional.’
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